The world we live in today is one that upholds the mantras “eye for an eye,” “tit for tat,” and instant karma by the hands of the offended. But, that’s not the only way to deal with negativity, especially if the infraction is minor. There’s tactics that one can use to de-escalate fiery situations and it all starts with your foundation.
Have you ever noticed that you can be having a blissful day, minding the business that pays you, until suddenly you encounter an evil ghoul disguised as a person from the hellish depths of the Earth? You’re whole demeanor changes and those positive vibes are nowhere to be found. What makes it worst is when you decide to sink to the level of the ops in order to instantly return the negativity. The result, you end up agonizing over how someone got you out of your character.
It happens everyday, B. Strangers are trading insults via discourteous driving and road rage. Irate patrons of businesses are jumping into the faces of employees, even resorting to shooting drive-thru workers. People are losing it over simple things.
While some cases are extreme and too out of control to reign back, there are the small tidbits of micro-aggressions that can be mitigated by a few simple alterations to your responses. Just because someone is rude to you doesn’t mean you have to return the favor. In fact, a better response would be to simply show love.
Imagine someone yells an expletive to you in passing because you unintentionally took their parking spot or cut them off while driving. If you yell back clearly, “Sorry,” “I love you!” or put your palms together like you’re going to pray and humbly bow your head as if asking for forgiveness, not only will it take the aggressive person by surprise, but it will de-escalate a potentially bad exchange.
Or say you’re the lucky one to have family members who enjoy torturing you with offhand remarks insulting your very existence. Imagine the expression on their faces when you tell them with all authenticity, “I love you and want the best for you. I see you doing big things and being an inspiration to all of us. You deserve every good thing coming your way.” And then, drop the mic and walk off.
Common sense and discernment will go a long way to assess when these types of defenses are appropriate — you don’t want to engage with someone holding a weapon or clearly demented. Pick and choose your battles. Use your noggin. Also, these strategies will only work if you genuinely believe what you’re saying, in general. You may not love a stranger, but do you want peace and to live another day?
Ward off the negative vibes with positive affirmations about the other person. You will boosting someone up, instead of tearing another human being down. Most of all, you can walk away from the situation guilt-free and with the beautiful promise of good karma coming your way. Try it!
