In the early 1990s, the two R&B forces Mary J. Blige and Jodeci’s K-Ci Hailey were a power couple taking over the scene. For a moment in time the relationship seemed like a match made in heaven, at least for fans who were over thrilled that two of the strongest vocalists at that time were deeply in love. But, after a series of toxic bouts with K-Ci, Mary had to learn the hard way about detaching herself from toxic love.
“When I was supposed to let go, I started feeling like, nah, I can’t let these women take what I know I worked so hard for, what I cried over every night, what I actually fought and been abused by, you know what I’m saying. That’s where the lack of self-love came in because I felt like I rather stay and take a beating then to let him go because I felt like if I let him go I was going to die. You know that love when you feel like, I’ll lose my mind if he leave me.”
Mary Talks About Her Relationship With K-Ci
Mary said she took living in a private hell with K-Ci just to stay with him, including verbal, mental and physical abuse coming from both sides. Uptown Records founder Andre Harrell revealed he witnessed one of the fights the couple had backstage during an intermission on one of the tour shows.
To Mary’s dismay, K-Ci was overly flirtatious with women as he performed on stage, allowing the women to touch him as he sung his heart out. Once K-Ci went backstage, he had to face a very distraught Mary. Harrell says that all he knows is that he heard yelling and bottles being thrown, only to find it was the powerhouse singers fighting.
She would document the toxic relationship over her music on the classic album My Life, released in 1994. The platinum album consisted of hit songs “Mary Jane (All Night Long),” “My Life,” “I’m Goin’ Down,” and “Be Happy.”
Despite the rocky relationship, Mary and K-Ci proceeded to get engaged. But, the engagement was short-lived after Mary went on a TV show and the host revealed an interview K-Ci did saying that he wasn’t engaged or getting married. When the host questioned whether Mary was still getting married, clearly hurt she responded, “Not anymore.”
“I was young and I was in love,” she said in an interview with VH1. “That hurt me.”
Eventually, she would let go of the relationship. But, the break was followed by a period of depression and low self-esteem that caused her to fall into a drug habit and acquire an alcohol problem.
Mary’s Rise To The Top
Luckily, Mary was strong enough to make it through. Today, she stands solid and successful as a music legend, rightfully holding the crown as the “Queen of Hip Hop Soul.” So far, the singer has sold over 80 million records worldwide and is a recipient of the American Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, and the Grammy Awards. But, her impact doesn’t stop there.
Dabbling in the acting world, Mary has been nominated for three Golden Globe Awards and an Academy Award. She’s currently on the Netflix original series The Umbrella Academy and just recently starred in the dark police drama Body Cam. Fans are excited to see her on the Power sequel as crime boss Monet Stewart on the Starz series Power Book II: Ghost, premiering on Sept. 6.
Plus, she will be starring in the Aretha Franklin biopic Respect, which also stars Jennifer Hudson, slated for a limited release on Christmas Day and wide release in 2021.
Mary has persevered through a lot, experiencing a childhood that consisted of molestation and a broken home. When asked how she was able to overcome the trauma of her past, she admits that she had to employ forgiveness.
“The key was forgiveness,” she said in an interview with Oprah. “Forgiving myself for being so hard on myself because it wasn’t my fault, but I’m not going to sit around and say it was your fault even though you contributed to the pain. I can’t continue to say, ‘OK, you’re going to pay for it.’ I am responsible to get through it.”
