I’m a sucka for education. I’ve served 19 of my living years in school. You would think that I would retain all that information and be some kind of super genius. But, with all the bullshit classes that they make you take, the lessons that stood out the most were the ones that could actually be applied to life.
While obtaining my MBA, one of those lessons was the idea of “Escalation of Commitment.” It’s a pretty simple concept in business. An entrepreneur or business leader commits to a project or idea only to find it failing miserably. But, instead of letting it go to make room for something more productive and rewarding, the person holds tight until the consequences prove to be extremely detrimental.
Whew. That lesson never left me because I’ve seen this time and time again happen in different situations in life. Relationships, jobs, material possessions and more. People just don’t know when to let go.
Most of the time, people hold on to bad investments because they are afraid to have that void in their lives. They feel like if they dump the bad spouse or leave that miserable job or take that expensive car back, they will never ever find a better replacement again. But, oh ye of little faith. If you only knew what was on the other side of failure.
Life is too short to twiddle your thumbs and wait for good things to happen to you. When you see that something is going awry and you’ve given it your best shot, it’s time to move on. Not to escalate your commitment or increase your investment in it.
For instance, I met a person that I thought was my soulmate. He was intelligent, ambitious and physically attractive. So, I committed my time, energy, interest and even money into our “situationship”. He repaid me with blows to my heart and my body. As time went on, he continued to humiliate and verbally abuse me, while stomping on the confidence I so proudly possessed.
The more I tried to show my love for him and the more I tried to ride for him, the more he would do things to push me away. My dumb ass would keep coming back, though. I just couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t accept the failure of this relationship. It was too heart crushing to bear.
But, then I looked back over the time we shared together. How he tried to sleep with other women while “talking” to me. He even publicly declared his love for an old ex of his. As I sit and reflect on how mean and ugly he’s been to me, I almost wanted to take a bat to his old ass car. But, being as graceful as I am, I instead resorted to going on a run.
When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s hard to de-escalate commitment. But, then again, if he or she is very much a loser and it’s rubbing off on you, maybe you don’t need that person after all.
Same with the workplace. Maybe you will be better off without the competitive boss or jealous peers. You’ll never know until you take a leap of faith and withdraw like you would from an ATM. You was born without them, you can die without them, too.
Yeah, it sounds morbid. But, what do you do when you wake up one day and find out that you wasted your whole life and energy on something that didn’t deserve it? I rather die.
