From his indelible imprint on Broadway to his captivating role on Pose, Billy Porter is a rose that grew and blossomed onto the world’s stage, giving hope to those who can relate. In Porter’s autobiography, Unprotected: A Memoir, he journeys through his past as a young boy growing up in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, all the way to current-day Porter, who dominates red carpets and advocates for LGBTQ+ rights in the realms of Hollywood and politics.
Born William Ellis Porter II, the 52-year-old multi-hyphen has made it through the worst of circumstances, living through sexual abuse, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and dealing with rejection. Here are seven life lessons from Porter’s autobiography that may service you one day:
Let Rejection Motivate You
Porter found out about an audition for the Broadway musical Dreamgirls. Figuring it was an once in a lifetime opportunity, Porter, who was in high school at the time, traveled from Pittsburgh to Chicago by his lonesome to audition. Though he put his all into the audition, he was rejected because of his age. It left his heart broken, but instead of throwing his whole dream away, he made the decision to work harder.
“Upon my return to Pittsburgh, I threw myself back into my studies. I knew that I had to get better. I needed to get out of my circumstance. And if I wanted to succeed, I knew I needed to be the best. Like Mommy always said, ‘You gotta be ten times better than your white counterparts to even get in the room!’ There needed to be no question when I arrived at an audition, any audition, that I was the only one who was right for the part.” (Unprotected, p.65)
Stay Ready
In another one of Porter’s auditions, he made sure to memorize an entire piece without being asked. So, when the opportunity arose, it took him no time to showcase his talent.
“Stay ready, then you don’t have to git ready! Success is when opportunity meets preparation; dat’s what Oprah said! ‘I just need a couple of minutes to read over the sides and I’ll be ready.’ To say I slayed the children would be an understatement.” (Unprotected, p.191)
Don’t Be Scared To Relocate
The Internet has certainly made it easier for stars to be born from anywhere in the world. However, there’s some markets that are hotter than others when it comes to certain industries. Doing your due diligence in researching your chosen profession will help direct your next steps. Porter writes,
“I figured if I wanted to be in show business, I would have to get out of Pittsburgh and come learn to navigate the big bad city, learn the subways, the audition spots, the temp agencies.” (Unprotected, p.92)
You Don’t Always Get What You Deserve
Porter is no stranger to unfair treatment. As a marginalized person, whether that is the result of gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation, oftentimes you have to concern yourself with what others think of you because it affects opportunities, economics, and social status. Porter’s way of coping with the stark reality was by honing his craft to perfection.
“I sang those b***hes under the ground! There was no way for them to set me up, make it my fault. This is what began to happen to me, and it would be a thorn in my side for decades. There have been many times in my career when I deserved jobs that I didn’t get — for various reasons: too Black, too gay, too specific, too much. But weep not for me; I’m not the only one whose had these types of challenges. This business is a b***h, and as my friend Nathan Lee Graham always says, ‘This business is not set up for you to fail. It’s set up for you to quit!’ I ain’t goin’ out like that!” (Unprotected, p.82)
Find The Lesson
When Porter was left out of the 1994 Tony nominations despite an award-winning performance in the Broadway version of Grease, something he was conflicted about doing in the first place, it taught him a big lesson: Align your art with your service.
“To say I was heartbroken would not even scratch the surface in describing what it felt like to be overlooked…As devastated as I was in this moment, I was able to remember what my mother and grandmother would always tell me: ‘There’s a lesson in every triumph, but more importantly, in every disappointment. Find the lesson.’…Do you want to be a star, or do you want to be an artist? Being a star for fame’s sake is ego-driven. Being an artist requires stripping away ego and grounding oneself in service.” (Unprotected, p.155-156)
When Your Light Shines, Haters Will Come
By this time in Porter’s career, he was a part of the award-winning Broadway show, Kinky Boots. The show brought him a lot of acclaim, but also summoned the haters. He writes,
“Previews on Broadway brought with them some strange behaviors from folks in attendance. Several people, who shall remain nameless, on several occasions came backstage, post my undeniable slayage, holding their throats and sayin’ sh!t to me like, ‘Are you okay? Is your voice holdin’ up? You better be careful, what you’re doing out there is unsustainable…” I needed an outside eye to tell me I wasn’t crazy in thinking that the motives of the faction were to get in my head, infiltrate my spirit with doubt. Their endgame was to throw me off my game…I asked Jack O’Brien for some guidance…I really needed some affirmation from an outside observer that the shade I thought was happening was actually happening. Jack affirmed me… ‘Honey, you know exactly what’s happening…Everybody in this business had decided you had gone as far as you could go. Everybody was comfortable with your seeming plateau. F**k them all!…Simply excuse them from your presence and move the f**k on!'” (Unprotected, p.237-240)
Respectfully, The “Church” Has To Find A Better Way
Porter makes it very clear that he was raised in a devout Christian home where the institution of church was sacred to his mother. However, it also became the place where Porter would encounter the underlying hate that comes from a homophobic society. It’s understandable why the church must maintain standards in order to separate itself from the world, but shushing people with questions while dismissing the needs of human beings is an unspeakable fallacy and one of the reasons why the church is mostly filled with women of a certain age. The lesson here is to by truthful, transparent, and lead in love. Church shouldn’t feel like high school.
“While things were undeniably getting better for me at school, they were worsening at church…The teacher had told us that we were all made in the image of God, who loved us and knew what we were going to do even before we did it. This was confusing to me, so I asked the teacher, ‘If God loves us, and he made us in His own image…then why would He create someone He knows isn’t going to choose Him, only to send him to a burning hell’… The teacher said, in a tone of pure rebuke: ‘You do not question God…’ Now, even at the age of ten, I understood this wasn’t an answer. I would have preferred for an adult, any adult, to simply admit that they didn’t know. But the question I asked dug way to deep for blind followers…” (Unprotected, p.35)
Later, Porter writes, “Church folk can be the worst. Church folk can be petty and mean. They can make a person feel worthless, empty, and alone…You can’t be so holy that you’re of no earthly good!” (Unprotected, p.103)
Bonus Lessons
I highly recommend that readers explore pages 182-183, especially aspiring writers. Porter gives some career defining tips in navigating ground zero of Hollywood behind the camera.
Another recommendation is the lesson in dressing the part. On page 236, Porter recounts his decision to transition from “crusty and busted” to dressing for success everyday.
Unprotected: A Memoir is available now on Amazon and at book stores across the nation.
Very good write-up. I certainly appreciate this website. Keep writing!